The day I became a mother was the day my life changed forever. Life got more colourful and joyful, but it also became more hectic, tiring and scary. I have struggled with my mental health throughout my life, so I know how hard life can be for some of us. But now, every new thing I learn, decision I make or emotion I feel has to go through an additional step in my weary brain, that of assessing how this will impact my children. Now all the things I stressed about were bigger and scarier.
I used to, and still do, worry about juggling work and personal life, supporting family and friends who were going through difficult times, inequality, war, politics and existential angst etc. And more recently, I (along with many, many others no doubt) have become anxious about a global pandemic, which I must admit, every so often, still makes me shake my head and comment to nobody in particular, “I can’t believe this is happening.” Working at home during lockdown with young children roaming around, and cut off from all the usual visits and support with childcare, will forever haunt my dreams. Throughout the pandemic I was strong for so long but eventually it, along with all the other stresses I was dealing with, broke my spirit and body. It was not beyond repair but it has taken time and a lot of hard work to get back to a smidgen of normality.
Now you’re probably wondering why I'm telling you all of this. Well, I want you to understand and maybe even sympathise with me when I tell you that for a long time I did not have the energy to think about climate change. It would have been too much. I had to lock it away in a box and bury it for a while. But I’m back and COP 26 certainly brought the issue of climate change to the fore of our collective consciousness for a while. We all looked up from our phones or paused our episode of Bake Off, Strictly, or whatever, to contemplate the impact climate change was going to have on the world, which for some people meant destruction of their homes and perhaps their lives. It was necessary to be confronted with this awful reality. But it was also anxiety inducing. What was worse was that even after hearing Elizabeth Wathuti and Mia Mottley, Brianna Fruean, President Whipps of Palau and David Attenborough’s impassioned speeches on the real, devastating impacts of climate change and lack of action so far, the outcome still felt like a negotiation or a compromise as opposed to a defiant stand against an impending disaster, a disaster that can be mitigated against if there was a strong enough will.
As I said earlier, this level of anxiety was not enough, and my brain then forced me to think about how this would impact my children. My 4 year old is very sensitive and once she begins to understand the situation we are in, the apathy and inaction is likely to confuse, upset and anger her. I have been dreading talking to my children about climate change. Well, in some ways the messages about environmental impact and climate change are already starting to reach them. Over Christmas we watched an animated cartoon for under 5s that showed an alien using excessive amounts of glitter to decorate the sea for the jolly season. A robot scolded the alien and talked about the impact of micro-plastics on the eco system and wider implications, such as on humans after they consume the fish.
For a moment I thought, “We’ll be ok,” at least the younger generation will be more aware and proactive. But I soon realised that this is exactly the sort of thing that we have been warned not to get distracted by. Activists have been shouting about how we are being distracted by the small things and dampening the sense of urgency, which is so critical to finding a viable solution. For example, George Monbiot, talks about “micro consumerist b@ll@ck$”, describing this as “...tiny issues such as plastic straws and coffee cups, rather than the huge structural forces driving us towards catastrophe”.
Perhaps a conversation with my children will have to take place sooner than I would like. And suddenly it’s becoming overwhelming again. The desire to lock it back in the box is strong, but I convince myself that I owe it to myself, my children, humanity and all the inhabitants we share this planet with to acknowledge it, face it head on and do something. There is hope, but what on earth can I do about any of this?
Before I move on to explore how to turn climate anxiety to action, please humour me one last time and come along with me on a final detour. I have just started reading ‘God of Small Things’ by Arundhati Roy. In the book there is a scene that reminds me of some of my attempts to do my bit to fight climate change (as in really impactful stuff and not just the usual things like turning of lights and recycling etc):
“Khubchand [the dog], who had the best of intentions but the most unreliable of bladders, would drag himself to the top-hinged door-flap built into the bottom of the door that led out into the back garden, push his head through it and urinate unsteadily, bright yellowly, inside. Then with bladder empty and conscience clear he would...weave his way back to his damp cushion, leaving wet footprints on the floor.”
I’m going to give you a moment to recover from that. And you’ve probably got a few questions. Am I the dying, incontinent dog in this scenario? Was this the best thing I could come up with to illustrate my point? I don’t know, you be the judge of that. Maybe I just really liked this bit of prose and felt I needed to shoehorn it in so that I could share it with the world. Anyway, point is, let’s do our best to, metaphorically speaking, not end up like the dog, ok? Let’s not be satisfied with trying but failing. Let’s not be satisfied with letting someone else clean up the mess.
What action will have the biggest impact? How can we really be part of the solution? First, I think it’s important for me to have a strategy to enable me to take consistent action and improve my chances of success:
Keep an eye on my mental health – as they say, you can’t pour from an empty cup. I will take a break when I need to but I won’t give up. I can’t give up. The key for me is to strive for a balance, keep doing the small things that make me feel good (e.g. switching things off, recycling, composting, buying bamboo toothbrushes etc), but be under no illusion that this activity alone is enough. And finally, look for some good news; there are articles and books etc that are hopeful and offer solutions.
Become comfortable with being uncomfortable – I will continue to read and listen to things that challenge my understanding and behaviour. I will also be brave and have more potentially difficult conversations.
Employ the 5 second rule – I will act when I have the impulse and not talk myself out of doing it.
Spend just 1 minute - at least to begin with, doing what I have made commitments to doing and hopefully it will help me form some good habits, like it has with my New Year's resolution to do more exercise.
So, what specifically can I do? Here are some of the things I’m going to focus on:
Write to my MP - talk about the co-benefits of fighting climate change and what action I’d like to be taken (see London Imperial College briefing paper for more details).
Get involved - join social movements/networks (e.g. Route to Zero Community Assembly) or participate more in existing ones (e.g. Collective for Climate Action).
Talk to my children - explore ways to have meaningful discussions about climate change with my children without traumatising them.
Talk about the changes I’ve made – if humble bragging about the stuff I’ve done can help make a positive impact, I’m definitely in!
Reduce consumption – stop buying stuff I don’t need. It’s quite simple in theory but in practice it requires unlearning the behaviour which has been encouraged our whole lives and managing my children’s endless pleas for the latest toys and fads.
Reject fossil fuels - support companies and services that are genuinely green. One of the things that excites me about Hope Energy is that their carbon negative tariff will help be more climate positive by just paying our energy bills.
What do you think? Am I focussing on the right things? Do you have any suggestions? Have you had any conversations with children about climate change? Tell me what has worked for you. Share any inspiring stories you’ve come across. I am genuinely interested…seriously, get typing. I’d love to do a follow up blog talking about some of the ideas you have and update you on how I’m getting on with my journey.
Kam Caulton is a friend and supporter of Hope Energy, and the 'better half' (!) of Founder & CEO Andy Caulton. She is a qualified researcher by trade (including an MA in Social Research) and has spent nearly a decade in research roles, specialising in turning customer and user feedback into meaningful insight to the stakeholders with which she’s worked. She also has a passion for sustainability and the environment, and has spent part of her professional career working on projects in these areas.